These Broken Dreams
by randomgenius
Summary: Astoria had given up on trying to slow her fall; all she could do was shut her eyes and dread the impact.


**I entered Latin II today, and when I emerged, AstoriaxColin was my OTP. **

**Think about it.**

* * *

She'd been snared.

_(A faint rustle and an exhausted sigh, muted reassurances hanging in the stagnant air.)_

She was a _Pureblood_, and she had _duties_, and she'd _accepted that_ up until he came along, all bright-eyes and eager smiles, knocking down all her restraints in an electrifying chaos that was _so_ _very_ _Colin_.

_(Laughter ringing throughout the empty hallways, loud, rebellious, alive. It was stifled quickly, but the damage was already done; she hadn't felt the noose slipping on until it was too late to slip away.)_

She had stretched herself so, so thin, striving to bridge the gap, desperately trying to weave a world where she could have both her family and Colin. She wasn't strong enough, however, and she soon found her self trapped between two impossible choices.

(_She wasn't strong, or courageous, or willing to risk it all, and it made her hate herself all the more._)

So she'd let go, stopped trying to make it work, just soaked him in and dreaded the day where she'd have to push him away.

(_Secrets and whispers, betrayal and lies. That's all she's good for_. _That's all she'd ever be good for._)

Perhaps worst of all, every time she mustered the bravery to try and break it off, before it got too messy, he would just be so _earnest_, and assure her that _they could make it_, and _he'd be there for her, no matter what she chose_.

(_She couldn't tell him about the betrothal, not after that._)

And then she'd lose her courage again, and let herself be convinced, and then it'd get better (for a while).

_(A not-so-subtle wink and grin in the hallways, one that made her heart melt and break at the same time._)

But then something would happen, and she'd be doused in the cold reality what was going on outside of this plastic delusion she'd fooled herself with.

(_Tension hovers in the Great Hall, voices low and worried. Someone's left a Prophet on the table, and she can see "INVASION AT THE MINISTRY!" emblazoned across the top, with Harry Potter's familiar visage scowling out at her. Across the Hall, Colin looks torn between absolute rapture and worry. Their eyes meet, and she can tell he sees what's coming as well._)

A storm lurked outside these crumbling walls, and Colin was exactly the kind of boy who would meet it head-on.

(_He stands at the front of the crowd, head held high, not giving anyone the satisfaction of admitting defeat, every inch a Gryffindor. He'd disappeared the very next day, like every other person who'd tried to resist._)

Some days, she'd wonder if it was really worth it, all this heart-break and pain.

(_Her sister sends her pitying looks while she chatters on and on about Colin, because in all her life she's never been able to lie to Daphne._)

But then he'd laugh one of his full-body laughs, or snap a photo when he thinks she's not looking, or just _look_ at her like she's the most incredible thing he's ever seen, and she'd remember, and she'd say _one more day_, and she'd let herself fall in love a little bit more, and she'd feel that bittersweet noose tighten around her neck.

(_She'd been helping evacuate the students when he'd pulled her aside, into a little alcove they'd hidden from Filch in before. It was so ridiculous, considering the present situation that a snarky comment was already poised on her lips by the time she realized that Colin Creevey was standing directly across from her, grinning like an idiot. She'd pinned him against a wall and hadn't let him go until the explosions had begun. Now she wished she hadn't let go at all._)

But all good things come to an end, and so did Colin Creevey.

(_Never build your world on dreams, Astoria._)

And the floor fell out from under her.

(_She should have listened to Daphne._)

* * *

**So, yeah. Lots n' lots of angst. I dunno, Astoria's just become my Barbie doll for the HP universe. I have another fic in the works where she conquers the wizarding world, Slytherin-style.**

**I know, right?**

**But, yeah. I apologize if she seemed kinda clingy/mopey/Cho Chang, but THE FEELS, man, THE FEELS.**

**...**

**I have a test tomorrow that I totally should have spent the last three hours studying for, but hey, YOLO.**


End file.
